I Was Lied To, And You’re Crap At Your Job

So last week, Lucy and I met up. The plan was to go to college, meet up, get pierced, coffee, eat, then see what happened. It didn’t go like that AT ALL.

See, I went to college. I caught the bus, we met up. Then I went to Blue Banana, a chain of hipster – come – emo shops. I got my other piercings and all done in either professional shops, or by my own hand, so already I wasnt too keen on going to a clothing retailer, but hey, there was an offer on.

We went in, and I asked if the piercer was in. Indeed she was. Good. Ten pound piercings? Yes. Great.

No, I was recommended to not have a butterfly kiss, as there is a risk of this growing out. She claimed to have already done them, and some had grown out in a month. Suspicious, but ok. I could only afford two, so I scrapped that one for the other two I wanted. No, if I wanted a daith heart, i’d have to pay separately for the heart jewellery. Ok, fine. We didn’t even get on to the septum piercing questions.

This was because, halfway down the form for the daith, I asked if they did numbing. I’m a massive wimp. They said no. Supposedly, Wolverhampton Council don’t issue licences for numbing. So I just said no thanks, and left.

I’d never heard of this before. I know there is little central regulation on piercing in training, and local bye-laws like this was a possibility in my head. The more I thought, however, the less realistic a concept it was.

Especially when I went round to a friend’s flat on the Sunday, who had a new flatmate. Her flatmate is a piercer. She’d never heard of it either.

I went to Twitter. I found Blue Banana. And this happened –


And then, this too –


So that’s an admission that their staff lied. I won’t be going back there for anything. Don’t lie to my face, just tell me the truth. I’m not a fourteen year old who knows nothing, I know more than what is in your 64 page training manual, and I learnt from experience. And now, I know their staff are liars, and your chain has bad customer service.

Also, the same woman said all the ear tunnel and plug sizes went up in twos. Then couldn’t find a 24mm, as they were all 22mm, then 25mm. She should be sacked.



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